“Ted” just isn’t the form of story that begs for growth. As soon as upon a time, a boy wished upon a capturing star for his stuffed teddy bear to come back to life; when it comes to exposition, that’s mainly it. That teddy bear and his aggressive Boston accent, courtesy of creator Seth MacFarlane, went on to co-star in two hit movies with Mark Wahlberg, the second of which hit theaters practically a decade in the past. Audiences might safely assume the films’ one-note joke — a kids’s toy that swears like a grown-up! — had run its course. A buddy comedy doesn’t have a lot lore past its buddies, even when one in all them occurs to be animated. 

In 2024, although, no scrap of mental property can go unexploited. Meaning “Ted,” the piece of popular culture trivia, is now “Ted,” a seven-episode prequel collection on Peacock. Set within the Nineteen Nineties, the present retains the codependent bond between Ted and his kind-of-creator John (now performed by Max Burkholder, previously of “Parenthood”), however provides a nuclear household straight out of a period-accurate sitcom. There’s even a tangential member of the family, John’s college-student cousin Blaire (Giorgia Whigham), with a surprisingly distinguished position within the 16-year-old’s day by day life. Inexplicably, John’s dad and mom have totally different names than they did within the movies, however names hardly matter in terms of archetypes this stale: Matt (Scott Grimes) is a rageaholic Republican, whereas Susan (Alanna Ubach) is a naive doormat who deserves vastly higher. 

The unique “Ted,” at the least, had a core thought that would function a basis for its cruder jokes. Ted was a residing image of arrested improvement — all of the infantile issues John couldn’t depart behind, now holding him again from thriving as an grownup. (We don’t want to talk of “Ted 2.”) “Ted,” the TV present, has no such North Star. A teen with a speaking teddy bear just isn’t totally different sufficient from a thirty-something bachelor with a speaking teddy bear to represent a contemporary comedic take; each draw from the identical easy distinction between a juvenile accent and its juvenile-in-a-different-way obsession with intercourse, pot and profanity. Nor does “Ted” embrace the brand new sitcom setup sufficient to successfully set up a separate id of its personal.

With MacFarlane showrunning alongside Paul Corrigan and Brad Walsh, “Ted” begins with the title character being despatched to high school with John after one misbehavior too many. As an inciting incident, not to mention a premise, this improvement is moderately skinny, although it units up a handful of subplots by which Ted and John stumble by means of pubescent milestones like shopping for medicine, buying porn and trying to get laid. However there’s no overarching plot or battle to talk of — which is an issue, as a result of “Ted” abruptly ends after simply seven episodes, when an precise community sitcom would simply be getting began.

If the season as an entire is simply too brief, at the least the person episodes are painfully lengthy, with a pilot that stretches for practically an hour and subsequent entries that usually run for over 40 minutes. This mix of brevity and bloat means there’s little time to domesticate character dynamics or a bigger narrative, however loads of area to cram in as many dropped R’s as doable. Simply think about “flame retardant,” “toga get together” and “Jafar” pronounced with a New England honk and also you’ve acquired the comedic gist. Any potential world-building is half-hearted, inconsistent or each: within the pilot, Blaire makes hay of a supposed household curse that’s by no means talked about once more, whereas Ted events with ladies in a single episode and exhibits his ignorance of fundamental feminine anatomy within the subsequent. Usually, Ted’s existence goes largely unremarked upon aside from establishing he’s already had his quarter-hour of fame. The blasé angle towards a residing plush toy is nice for a handful of gags, but additionally cedes the chance to discover this alternate actuality.

What intriguing components “Ted” has really feel like they’re imported from one other present. Because the resident left-leaning co-ed, Blaire acts because the voice of purpose, usually talking with a maturity and feminist perspective that appears imported from the current day (or at the least exterior the MacFarlane prolonged universe) — not that the ‘90s of all of it quantities to quite a lot of topical gags about “Aladdin” or O.J. Simpson. Amid all of the adolescent humor, Blaire’s emotional intelligence stands proud like a sore thumb, as when she tries to assist Susan get up to the grim actuality of her marriage. “Ted” has no real interest in sincerity or imparting classes á la the Very Particular Episodes of the traditional collection it vaguely resembles. But it lets some in with out incorporating it, just like the tonal model of lumpy pancake batter.

It’s unclear, in the long run, who this “Ted” is supposed to serve. To no matter followers had been nonetheless hoping for a “Ted 3,” the present doesn’t scratch the identical itch. (For one factor, there’s clearly not the finances for a Tom Brady cameo.) However the present isn’t sufficient of a reimagination to tug in a brand-new viewers intrigued by the R-rated model “Alf.” The “Ted” franchise has lain dormant for practically 10 years. A pivot to streaming appears unlikely to revive it.

All seven episodes of “Ted” at the moment are streaming on Peacock.